Faulty Gratification An Ineeda Halfbaked Vampire Humper Almost Story P Arody Books
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"My name is Ineeda Halfbaked. Vampires call me "The Necroboinker". I call them whenever I can, but so few respond. Ever since the government granted the undead the same rights as the rest of us enjoy, most people think vampires are just people with fangs and endless stamina. I know better. I've been boinking them for years. I carry condoms just in case... But now a killer is forcing vampires in to the sunlight for sun bathes, but it isn’t me that’s responsible —and the head vampire Nonetheless, wants me to find out why... or else she will make me her playmate for eternity. A fate far worse than death." "In a time and place where anything with or without a pulse has been declared citizens of the United States (as long as they didn’t enter the country illegally and can prove it), Ineeda Halfbaked is an "necromangler" - a job that involves resurrecting the dead and wrangling them temporarily for mourning family and for her own pleasures. But Ineeda is also called the Necroboinker. A fearless humper of vampires and anything else she can get her hands on. She's often called on by the cops as a last resort to offer an opinion on cases that are strange or kinky. But as Ineeda gains the attention of the vampire head of her hometown of St Blewus, she also has to find time to satisfy her urges and someone to satisfy them with. Which is getting harder and harder to do. If she doesn’t get it all done quickly, she will spend eternity in the Playroom from hell.
Faulty Gratification An Ineeda Halfbaked Vampire Humper Almost Story P Arody Books
I bought this on a whim while searching for new Laurell K. Hamilton books on my Kindle. I'm in law school and her stuff is good brain candy, though drawn out and repetitive. So I was tickled when I saw that someone had attempted to do a parody. However, that's all it is: a very poorly executed attempt. Humor does vary, so I'll just say that this novel is definitely targeting the drunk frat boy demographic. Indeed, who else is likely to laugh every three lines when the author cracks yet another joke about the size and smell of the heroine's vajajay? It got old about two pages in, yet the author keeps going with it until the bitter end.Verdict: this novel is a waste of $0.99, which I seriously hadn't thought possible before now.
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Faulty Gratification An Ineeda Halfbaked Vampire Humper Almost Story P Arody Books Reviews
I am a huge fan of Laurel K. Hamilton, both the Merry Gentry series and the Anita Blake series. The sexual stuff was never a problem for me to read, and I enjoyed the "hard core" side of the books, the blood and all else.
I was disappointed in this parody. There were a few parts that I literally laughed out loud, but for the most part it was boring. I read the entire thing only because I was morbidly curious.
It's not that I think this was an insult to the original Anita series, in fact I think parodies are a riot and love seeing them made from my favorite books, movies and TV shows. I just think this could have been done in a way that would have better poked fun at the various themes and characters throughout the book that was spoofed, "Guilty Pleasures."
I give it three stars because the names of the characters were enough to make me chuckle and there were a couple hilarious lines scattered amongst the rest of the book.
Ineeda loves to have sex. She doesn't hide behind that fact with silly reasoning or excuses, and fully embraces her desires. How sex positive and refreshing of her, completely unlike the heroine from the story this parody is based off of. Ineeda is hilarious and doesn't take herself too seriously. It's worth a night in with a glass of wine.
Regardless of whether or not you're a fan of the Anita Blake series, you have to agree that the series is long overdue for a published parody. (After all, other series that haven't been around as long have received parodic versions.) Now if you're a die-hard & you're thinking "OMG- this is terrible", relax. There's nothing wrong with a parody as long as it is done in good fun, which this one is. (Note In order to stay within the bounds of 's kosher guide, I'm going to do a lot of tapdancing around the whole "getting jiggy with it" stuff so my review can pass muster. Needless to say, hankypanky is a big theme in this book.)
Ineeda is a necroboinker, someone who raises the dead... in more ways than one. She's often called out by the police for her opinions as well as for her expertise in vampire impaling. Ineeda is also one of the more "active" necroboinkers, with many a vamp running from her in fear of their lives & wellbeing. When she gets called in to investigate a series of crimes, Ineeda knows that something is up & it's not the type of "up" she normally prefers.
Now I know what you're wondering- is this any good? Yes, to a point it is. While Ineeda's attempts at gaining a neverending stream of conquests (most of which end with the other party turning tail & bolting in the opposite direction) can wear a little thin now & again, it's a short enough read to where this story can get away with it. I have to admit that I do wish that the author had taken advantage of some of the other trademarks of the Anita Blake series (overly dark themes, etc), though.
But for the price of the book, this is something well worth getting & reading for a chuckle or two. I can only hope that the author decides to further spoof the later books as well. There's a lot of material there to poke fun at.
3.4/5
I felt like Faulty Gratification-An Ineeda Halfbaked Vampire Hunter Almost Story was written for me. It is a parody of Guilty Pleasures with some of the issues from the later books thrown in. We meet all the regular characters, Won'the Hatfield visits Ineeda the Necromangler at Necromantic LLC to hire her to investigate vampire murders. Ineeda, Cattrainer, and Morgasma go to Faulty Gratification for a bachelorette party. They watch the strippers and see Juan Clawed. Dolt Container head of TIP, Totally Inept Police, calls Ineeda for her "professional" opinion at the graveyard. Ineeda is taken to The Festival of the Unlucky where she meets Nontheless, head vamp who likes to play children's games. Rock, paper, scissors and time out in your coffin for punishment are just a few examples of what Ineeda must face. Fellow vamp impaler Tread is there to back Ineeda as is Ineeda's best friend Freddy, the private dick.
What makes this book so hilarious is that Ineeda, unlike Anita, doesn't need the Ardeur as an excuse to like or need sex. No, Ineeda just plain likes it with anything three legged and makes no apologies about it. This book is not full of sex. It follows what goes on in Ineeda's mind, her thoughts on the men she meets and what she wants from them. She is very outspoken about it, there is no moral dilemma for Ineeda. Without the Ardeur to hold men to her, they claim to be gay and run.
The author does a great job picking out all of the idiosyncrasies of the original Anita Blake in Laurell Hamilton's books and embellishes on those traits. Ineeda sees all the details of a man, his eyes, hair, clothes, and scars. She loves those scars. Ineeda is seriously threatened by other woman, looking at all of them as "Jealous Biatches". She is attracted to those "hunka hunka burning love teenage boys" also.
In this book Ineeda is inept in her work, a bumbling fool who is distracted by the "Jealous Biatches and Gay Guys". If the men don't want her, they must be gay, right? The author also brings up the two dimensional characters, repetitive phrases, and poor spelling and grammar as in the original books. She just expands on it a bit.
If you are one of the many people who feel the original books declined after the introduction of the Ardeur, you have to read this book. Everything that is so serious about the original Anita is made humorous for our reading pleasure. I read this book in one sitting, and I laughed so hard that my stomach hurt. Have a good laugh and enjoy this book. It's been a long time coming.
I bought this on a whim while searching for new Laurell K. Hamilton books on my . I'm in law school and her stuff is good brain candy, though drawn out and repetitive. So I was tickled when I saw that someone had attempted to do a parody. However, that's all it is a very poorly executed attempt. Humor does vary, so I'll just say that this novel is definitely targeting the drunk frat boy demographic. Indeed, who else is likely to laugh every three lines when the author cracks yet another joke about the size and smell of the heroine's vajajay? It got old about two pages in, yet the author keeps going with it until the bitter end.
Verdict this novel is a waste of $0.99, which I seriously hadn't thought possible before now.
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